pencil the whole time。
John looked at me with his strange eyes … bloodshot； distant； on the verge of tears 。。。 and yet calm； too； as if crying was not such a bad way of life； not once you got used to it。 He even smiled a little。 He smelled of Ivory soap； I remember； as clean and fresh as a baby after his evening bath。
〃Hello； boss；〃 he said； and then reached out and took both of my hands in both of his。 It was done with a perfect unstudied naturalness。
〃Hello； John 。〃 There was a little block in my throat； and I tried to swallow it away。 〃I guess you know that we're ing down to it now。 Another couple of days。〃
He said nothing； only sat there holding my hands in his。 I think； looking back on it； that something had already begun to happen to me； but I was too fixed … mentally and emotionally … on doing my duty to notice。
〃Is there anything special you'd like that night for dinner； John ？ We can rustle you up most anything。 Even bring you a beer； if you want。 just have to put her in a coffee cup； that's all。〃
〃Never got the taste〃； he said。
〃Something special to eat； then？〃
His brow creased below that expanse of clean brown skull。 Then the lines smoothed out and he smiled。 〃Meatloaf'd be good。〃
〃Meatloaf it is。 With gravy and mashed。〃 I felt a tingle like you get in your arm when you've slept on it； except this one was all over my body。 In my body。 〃What else to go with it？〃
〃Dunno； boss。 Whatever you got； I