to passionless contemplation。 I understand； now； the intellectual mood of the quietist。
Of course my good housekeeper has tended me perfectly； with the minimum of needless talk。 Wonderful woman！
If the evidence of a well…spent life is necessarily seen in 〃honour； love； obedience； troops of friends；〃 mine； it is clear； has fallen short of a moderate ideal。 Friends I have had； and have； but very few。 Honour and obedience……why； by a stretch； Mrs。 M… may perchance represent these blessings。 As for love……？
Let me tell myself the truth。 Do I really believe that at any time of my life I have been the kind of man who merits affection？ I think not。 I have always been much too self…absorbed； too critical of all about me； too unreasonably proud。 Such men as I live and die alone； however much in appearance acpanied。 I do not repine at it； nay； lying day after day in solitude and silence； I have felt glad that it was so。 At least I give no one trouble； and that is much。 Most solemnly do I hope that in the latter days no long illness a this life of quiet enjoyment to the final peace。 So shall no one think of me with pained sympathy or with weariness。 One……two……even three may possibly feel regret； e the end how it may； but I do not flatter myself that to them I am more than an object of kindly thought at long intervals。 It is enough； it signifies that I have not erred wholly。 And when I think that my daily life testifies to an act of kindness such as I could never h