的純潔,我將獲得一種更好的新生。那將是我全部的希望和所有的安慰!
獄中生活已經把我身上不夠純潔的物質慾望消滅殆盡。以前,我對自己不夠注意,如今,艱難困苦對我已不算什麼,因此,不要擔心物質上的艱苦會把我折磨死。這是絕不可能的事!唉,要是我有健壯的體格就好了!
好,再見了,再見了,哥哥!讓我緊緊地擁抱你,讓我深情地親吻你。請在心裡記著我,不要傷心,不要悲痛。我懇求你,不要為我悲傷!在下一封信裡,我將告訴你我是如何到那裡去的。請記住我所告訴你的一切:計劃好你的生活,不要浪費光陰,安排好你該做的一切,為你的孩子們作好打算。啊,我多想見你一面,多想見你一面!再見了!現在,我將哭著告別我所熱愛的一切事物,離開它們是多麼痛苦啊!把一個人一分為二、把一顆心剖為兩半是多麼痛苦啊!再見了!再見了!但我非常確信將會再次看到你——我希望你一直愛我,不要改變,不要讓你的記憶冷卻,回想你的愛將是我生命中最重要的一部分。再見了!再見了!再說一遍,向所有的一切告別!
你的弟弟,
費奧多·陀思妥耶夫斯基
1849年12月22日
於彼得與保羅要塞
Fyodor Dostoevsky
To
The Peter and Paul Fortress;
December 22; 1849
Mihail Mihaliovich Dostoevsky;
Nevsky Prospect; opposite Gryazny Street;in the house of Neslind
Brother; my precious friend! all is settled! I am sentenced to four years' hard labor in the fortress (I believe; of Orenburg); and after that to serve as a private。 Today; the 22nd of December; we were taken to the Semionov Drill Ground。 There the sentence of death was read to all of us; we were told to kiss the Cross; our swords were broken over our heads; and our last toilet was made (white shirts)。 Then three were tied to the pillar for execution。 I was the sixth。 Three at a time were called out; consequently; I was in the second batch and no more than a minute was left me to live。
I remembered you; brother; and all yours; during the last minute you; you alone; were in my mind; only then I realized how I love you; dear brother mine! I also managed to embrace Pl